sacHa Baron cOhen

So after realizing Bruno the movie would only be good for bros fucking and sucking in Spenard or for Magic Johnson's late night snack, I decided to help everyone remember why Sasha Baron Cohen was allowed to make such a shit film to begin with.



Ali G.


Borat


Bruno


Beautiful. Don't see Bruno. Buy the DVDs

It Had To Be Done

Vote For My Ass Tat

Check Out THIS LINK for the Pokemon Poster


create free polls | comment on this

UPDATE: as of Thursday June 18th, Only 23 votes have been counted. Lickitung leads with 8 votes while 2nd place is tied between Squirtle and Snorlax. Invite your friends and family to vote since this is the most historical election since the American public put a catholic in the White House.

Oh Lord

Here in Anchorage there is a battle to ban discrimination based on sexual orientation. Thankfully there are many righteous people that understands what this means: God is testing our faith.

As evil attempts to brainwash us with media (MSNBC, Hollywood, J.K. Rowling), we stand together as strong as ever. We see through the thinly veiled satanic homosexual stances Obama is trying to push on us and we need to do something about it. A smart man I know posted a bulletin that explains our dilemma clearly:

"Barack Obama: someone needs to take that guy out...one way or another"

YOU'RE NOT MY PRESIDENT MR. HUSSEIN OBAMA, THE LORD IS!

I can't understand why anyone would want faggots to have any rights, they should be sent straight to San Fagcisco. I have an idea though, but I need your help (and our Lord Jesus' help too). Everyone must e-mail one of God's greatest gifts Jerry Prevo and ask him to use the Lord's money to buy a giant plow truck to destroy the blue shirted pagans at the Loussacc Library, They deserve to die, so they can enjoy hell sooner then later. Whoever believes the insane notion that all people, even women, blacks, and fags deserve equal rights is insane. I bet they believe dinosaurs existed, or that the Earth is round and warming. Complete morons.

To end let us pray.
Oh Lord please help us believers kill all nonbelievers. I know you want them off this planet, that's why you sent us Hitler, Sirhan Sirhan, and Katrina. I pray that Rupert Murdoch, Glenn Beck, and Rev. Limbaugh, our modern crusaders, stay in good health and continue to spread the good word of the Lord. (I can't think of anything else) Amen!

Joe Buck Loves Life

If you didn't see Joe Buck Live on HBO, you missed out on some classic live television. I'm not a huge TV guy myself, but this was fucking gold. Joe Buck is a play by play commentator from Fox Sports who somehow got Bob Costa's old gig on HBO. Anyways yesterday was the premiere of his show and the awkwardness was visible. The dude is a stiff. A square. So, one of my heroes, Artie Lange, came out and gave Joe the truth.



God Bless Artie Lange

Tommy Chong is a Legend

In the beginning...



That 70's Show era as the great Leo...(Some guy uploaded every scene with Chong onto youtube. I'm just gonna post the first video)



Modern Chong...

Thought Balloons

Click for a better view


I wish it was a joke!

Hunter Thompson knows the Truth

"In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upwardly mobile—and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely."
—Hunter S. Thompson, The Great Shark Hunt, 1979

There is something entirely relaxing about reading Hunter S. Thompson literature. It makes me believe like I'm not completely wrong, I just see the world maybe as actual reality. What baffles me is how people are mostly content in this country, as if the serious issues such as loss of freedom, the slow and obvious death of our planet, disgusting corporate greed, and the shameful loss of individuality are as real and important as the need to have an iPhone.

"The only ones left with any confidence at all are the New Dumb. It is the beginning of the end of our world as we knew it. Doom is the operative ethic."
-Hunter S. Thompson, Kingdom of Fear, 2004

Alternate Reality (Fuck Edison)

JACOB SETH KERN 4 GOV in 2010.

Dear President Obama

I consider myself a pretty liberal guy. In the 2008 election I considered it a hard choice to vote for you, Barack Obama, or write in Bob Barker, for whom I wholly agree with because I'm sick of these filthy animals fucking each other without any care about the consequences of having a litter of pups. We need to stop these animals together. Here are some ideas to end their disgusting immoral ways of living.

#1 We give animal control experimental vans that hold up to 100 animals in a separate section of the van. The exhaust from the engine is then directly routed to the separate container effectively eliminating the scoundrels


Animal Control Van of Death

#2 Spay or neuter your pets.


Although I ended up voting for Barker, I have finally accepted the fact that you are president. I will even go as far as putting down in writing that you are my second favorite president, only behind the former, now deceased President of the NRA, Charlton Heston.


God in his white form

I hope I didn't waste any of your time Mr. President.

Peace and Love,
LASERWOLF

The Time E.P

I consider this particular group of songs to accurately portray the emotions running through me during my stay in Soldotna, Alaska.

Dedicated to my Padre.


The Time E.P. - Todd Armstrong

Conando

The Time Has Come!

Every year in Anchorage there comes a time when time itself has disappeared. There comes a time when a certain group of people decides to leave their windowless homes to enjoy the never ending sun of the great Alaskan summer. There comes a time to pull out the swords, the costumes, and the accents of the Middle ages. Yes, it's time for the 3 Barons Fair.


"Dos thus have thou a mug of ale for me and me mate, for he hath been pitched in battle for a fortnight and has the king's thirst for the frosty brew dos thou might have for thus!"

The only reason I can stand Anchorage anymore is because of this exciting annual event. The food is great, the people are hilarious, and the wenches are pale.

The festivities begin the weekend of June 6th through June 7th and continue the following weekend during the days of June 13th and 14th.

Click HERE for a coupon to save a dollar off the admission price.

Jaydiohead

I dunno if I like more then a couple songs on this. Check it out for yourself though, because taking Jay-Z and mixing him with Radiohead is a big undertaking.



Download the Album Here

Check out Minty Fresh Beats on Myspace

Yea or Nay your opinion below.

Probably My Favorite Music Video

Strange song + strange video = my life complete

Am I right?

Lady Love

This chick is so hot I have to blog about it. God damn it, she was on the Howard Stern Show with David Blaine when they were dating and her voice! Jesus, the thoughts going through my brain. What I would do to this chick, you have no idea.

Her name: Josie Maran

Update: I continued to read about this bird and I learned she had a baby unfortunately named Rumi Joon. I'm now thinking I'm out of love

UPDATE NO.2 I don't even know what to fucking think now, so many emotions are tumbling about in my head when I watched this. Just a goofy hot fucking chick. I've decided I'm back in love although she seems slightly strange or loopy. Honestly I could care less though


Part II (I wish I was that man)

The Beatles Kinda

The Beatles are the most influential rock band in the history of the world, with the single exception of Tha Charles Oakley Project. Yes, I know you're thinking that they're a bunch of east Anchorage kids with a strange and often times overwhelming obsession of 90's basketball and video games but believe me, it's pure rock 'n roll. The absurd lyrics, the angry attacks on fellow band member "A.Gee", the guest spots, the psychedelic musical interludes, it all points to the Beatles. Yes John, Paul, George, and Ringo all directly influenced every single Charles Oakley Project song. To give you proof I point to the experimental album entitled 'The Civil Rights Movement of 4028' or whatever. TCOP looked into the past for some vision of something new. They were the first band ever to have a person in the group with mental retardation. No Wesley Willis was not in TCOP (he was schizo not handicapped), I'm talking about Cassell Chronic aka DocChron aka Sam Cassell aka The White Cassell aka I SOLD A CAR FOR 50 DOLLARS. I still can't get over that. (Sorry Allen it boggles the mind)
Anyways I don't have my computer so I can't upload original Beatles tracks but, here are my favorite Beatles covers and no, Siouxsie and the banshees cover of Dear Prudence isn't one of them. Enjoy.

Dear Prudence - The Five Stairsteps



With a Little Help From My Friends - Joe Cocker



Eleanor Rigby - Thrice (Only song I enjoy from them so fuck off)



A Day in the Life - Jeff Beck



Come Together - Michael Jackson



I am the Walrus - Secret Machines and Bono

Wanna Be Cool?

DOWNLOAD THIS SHIT DAWG!

The French Machine - Minitel Rose

This is about right

(click to enlarge)

My baby gurr

I've been crushing on Nelly Furtado since this vid



I remember watching this every morning during my family's visit to Hawaii in 5th grade, I wanted to fuck her then too.

HCP/ Juicy J

Juicy J's going back to the past with some more devilish shit, which was necessary.

This guy is dope too
Russ Chimes - Mulsanne
Justin Faust - Revenge (Russ Chimes Remix)

Freaky Fridays

(Me in the future)
Here's some music to enjoy during the weekend.

Grafton Primary - Allstars (Calling In Sick Remix)
Passion Pit - The Reeling (Wallpaper Remix)
Empire of the Sun - We are the People (Modernaire Remix)

Emiliano Zapata

My grandfather had a poster of this Mexican Revolutionary with his infamous quote:
" ¡Prefiero morir de pie que vivir siempre arrodillado! "
which translates into english as:
" I'd rather die on my feet then continue to live on my knees "

This is how he ended up
His story makes him a great man and a profound hero of mine.
Wikipedia - Emiliano Zapata

I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello

Reice is out of LASERWOLF. Yes quite unfortunate but you gotta move on. We grew apart and never made music together since 'Wanda Sykes, Rejoice!' and that was probably over a year ago. A shame since I loved making music with him but hey, shit happens. I spoke to Matt Ornellas telling him I was regrouping and invited him to work with me, which he said yes to. I also asked my brother Dustin but he just laughed at me and said no. So as of the moment It's Matt and I as LASERWOLF. Anyways I got some good local music and more for everyone.

First off is a new musician hailing from Anchorage. He calls himself Death To Laserwolf, ironically. Here is his second E.P

Death To Laserwolf - The Demise of Laserwolf

Here's some D'Angelo


And lastly one of my favourite Sly & the Family Stone tunes. Great vocals and guitars, a definite listen.

Don't Call Me Nigger, Whitey - S&tFS

Goodbye for now

Decided to update

Yeah yeah its been a while, but now I'm living in Soldotna, Alaska without the other half (Laser) to support my musical desires. Jerk. Anyways here's a couple of dags from my newest album that I've decided not to release due to copyright infringement. So I guess I was the one who decided. Law was.

This first track was originally dropped because people commenting that it wasn't 4/4 and was replaced by the latter track.
Sour Shrooms (Poor Joe) - Todd Armstrong

WPTIII - Todd Armstrong